25 11 / 2013
its probably more than you think
warning: i am, in fact, about to get alittle festive. (i know, who am i, right? i’m asking the same question.)
last year about this time i was tweeting things like “if you get to be with your family this week be thankful! unless you don’t like them… but you should probably still be thankful.”
last year was my first thanksgiving without my family. this was a big deal, you could say our family is pretty close. the holiday became a new love for me when my older brother went away to college the first year way back when. we were used to be together most of the time, so i always anticipated this time of year.
i couldn’t afford to leave minneapolis last year, where i was by myself (totally brought on happily by my self, but i didn’t except to not be able to be home for thanksgiving.) to make it better, the man i wanted to marry that i had known for less than two months and only hung out with twice myself, was gonna be spending part of the day with my family as well… without me. i wasn’t having a great day. they facetime’d me, but really, when your 3 brothers, 3 sisters, your man, nephews and parents are all in one house having thanksgiving and they video chat you, does it really make you feel better or does all the fun and conversations just sound like noise through a little iphone (that you know in real life is beautiful chaos that you are missing out on.) i got a text that morning from a sweet friend, who i barley knew, (we had been connected because we’re both from ohio) “what are you doing today?” i probably replied “nothing” or something pathetic, and she said something like “please come to our friends house, there’s gonna be alot of people there.” although i was not in the most friendliest of moods, i eventually mustered up the courage to leave the house. i’m all about adventure, right?
when i arrived at the address, there were kids. everywhere. the closest children-friends of mine lived 1.5 hours away. i had been cut off from one of my greatest sources of inspiration and love since i had moved. i missed being around tiny humans and no matter how much you smile at each other at the grocery store, it doesn’t make it appropriate to go befriending strangers’ children at the grocery store… so i was happy.
there i was with several beautiful families that were having thanksgiving together because they were to far away from their families too. i enjoyed conversations with the grown-ups, and the children and i smiled at each other of course. i got to hold and snuggle one of the little ones as well. the family who was hosting this thanksgiving day are some of our favorite people now, so much so that we moved 2 blocks away from them, on purpose, when we moved back to minneapolis. benjamin stayed with them when he came to visit me, i stayed with them when i got evicted before i moved back to kentucky and we stayed with them when we came back to look at houses. i’m not just thankful for them because they have given me a place to sleep on multiple occasions, we are truly blessed to have them as our minneapolis family, neighbors and friends. if i was with my family last thanksgiving we may not have the joy of having them in our life now.
it was good for the part of my family who didn’t know benjamin to get to know him, without me. it was nice for me to hear their high praises of him from afar (when you decide you want to marry someone you’ve known for less than two months it is a good sanity check to have your family more than approve.)
so again i say, if you’re with your family this week, be thankful. and if you’re not, be thankful for what you do have. its probably more than you think. make the best of it. (and if you are in a place where you can invite someone lonely over, do it, it might totally change their day, year or life.)
when benjamin promised “next year we’ll be together for thanksgiving” i believed him, but i surely didn’t know that i would have gained a husband, two parents, 3 nephews, a niece and would have a little rogers kid cooking in my oven… my ever growing family. now that i’m here, i really wouldn’t have any other way.
to leave you with, going back and reading more of my this-week-last-years’-tweets, i also found this one from after thanksgiving:
"Leave to your God to order and provide; In every change, He will remain."
21 11 / 2013
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27 8 / 2013
i spent the past two mornings reading aloud the entirety of the BFG by Roald Dahl to a seven year old boy. good mornings, indeed.
01 8 / 2013
yet here i am
sitting in a messy two room apartment that i’m supposed to be packing up after i edit a set of photographs, yet here i am. my husband is at his studio organizing his paint brushes and wrapping his paintings in moving safe material i’m sure. its been that kind of a day. i know what needs done and i’m not even dreading it particularly, but sometimes you just need to escape. i was whining about taxes that are withheld from our checks and benjamin mentioned the roads that we get to drive on as a result of that. my silly response to that was “i would rather walk through the grass to get to where i need to go.” later on i decided to walk to the bank, and i realized that the bank we usually drive 0.7 miles to because we’re so “busy” is really only about 0.2 miles from our door. there’s a line of trees made up of several layers of trees and a half hill between the bank and our house. i went snooping around where our street dead ends in those trees to find a broken glass covered steep dirt foot path down the hill that comes out practically at the bank. you’d be surprised at how much scheming a tiny adventure into a day with too-much-to-do can invigorate you. and i suppose i was subconsciously trying to prove that i don’t need those roads…
in October 2012 i signed a 1 year lease for a studio apartment in minneapolis minnesota. in April 2013 i signed a month to month lease for an apartment in kentucky. in July 2013 i co-signed a 1 year lease for a 2 bedroom duplex in minneapolis with the man i’m married to that i didn’t know when i signed the first lease.
to say its been a whirlwind is an understatement. i think in my wedding vows i called it a “whirlwind in slow motion” that i wouldn’t trade for anything. i really wouldn’t. but it’s draining. i have stories from just the past year that i could write til morning and not get through a minority of them. good ones too… but thats not what i’m itching to tell. life is crazy. it’s beautiful. it’s a mess. and the truth is that the Creator of the universe love His children. He knows and cares about our desires, the littlest details. He loves His children intricately. He is sovereign. He provides over and over and over… and over. He gives us choices. He lays down paths that make so little sense to take but can lead to what makes more sense than anything else ever has. He writes good stories.
i like good stories. i’m grateful to live one.
16 6 / 2013
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14 6 / 2013
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